


Monster Fest 2020

by Small_Hobbit



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019), Macbeth - Shakespeare, Spooks | MI-5, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26895364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Hobbit/pseuds/Small_Hobbit
Summary: Various ficlets written for the Annual Ushobwri Monster Fest, which celebrates supernatural creatures all month long.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 15
Collections: Shoobie Monster Fest





	1. Ghosts: Early Morning

Alison woke up slowly, stretched and then screamed. “Thomas, what are you doing in my bed?”

“I didn’t want you to feel lonely,” Thomas replied.

“Where’s Mike?” she asked, looking round for her husband.

“I’m afraid he’s left you.” Thomas looked sorrowful.

“What?” For a moment Alison was alarmed, and then she heard the sound of rattling crockery, which meant Mike was bringing her breakfast in bed.

“Temporarily,” Thomas said. “He left you temporarily.”

Alison sat up. As she did so, Kitty also sat up, on the other side. “Great,” Alison muttered. “All it needs now is for Lady B to come in and tell me I should be wearing a proper linen nightdress, which does up to the neck and has long sleeves, rather than this ratty old t-shirt.”

Right on cue, Lady Button appeared.

At the same moment Mike entered the bedroom.

Alison said, “Would you mind going back down and putting the CD of Viennese waltzes on, so I can enjoy my breakfast in peace.”

Mike shrugged. “Whatever you say!” He turned round, looked vaguely into the ether, and said, “Come on you lot!” before going downstairs.


	2. Macbeth: The Ingredients

_Double, double toil and trouble  
Fire burn_   
“I told you to bring firelighters.”  
 _And cauldron bubble_   
“Eww, what on earth did you last have in this?”  
  
“The butcher was out of fenny snake fillets, so I’ve brought sausages.”  
  
“Eye of newt.” “Gross! How long has that been in your fridge?”  
  
“Toe of toad. Online shopping: I ordered frogs’ toes, they sent me toads’.”  
  
“Bit of sheep’s wool, I grabbed on the way here. I didn’t have time to look for any bat’s wool. And I’ve just realised what it was I wrote on the list, dog tongue. Not got it.”  
  
“The shop didn’t have any adders’ forks, apparently adders don’t use cutlery, no hands you see. And when I went to get some sting from the blind worms they told me to eff off!”  
  
“Have you seen the price of lizard legs this time of year? And you need to order howlet wings two months in advance.”  
  
“Do you think a cream tea would work as well?”  
  
“It works for me.”  
  
“That’s agreed then. We tell Macbeth to come back next week and we’ll have tea out instead.”


	3. Spooks: The Werewolf in Autumn

“So elegant,” Jo said with a laugh. “What on earth does he think he’s doing?”

“I presume he’s enjoying the last of the sunshine,” Adam replied, then called, “Get up you idiot, Harry will be here soon.”

The werewolf, which was lying on its back exposing the full length of its chest and tummy to the warmth, wriggled and then rolled over. Some of the autumn leaves which he had been lying on had got caught in his thick coat, so he shook himself to dislodge them.

The sound of a car drawing up caused Adam and Jo to look round. They watched as Harry, Ros and Tariq got out of the car and came to join them. The werewolf too watched them, and then circled round before bouncing over to see Tariq and try to stick his muzzle in Tariq’s jacket pocket.

“Get out!” Tariq said sharply, trying to stop the werewolf from removing the contents.

He was too slow, the werewolf had got a firm grip of a toffee apple, still in its cellophane wrapper.

“What are you like?” Jo said.

“Drop it!” Adam ordered.

There was a sort of growl, followed by a muffled whimper, and Adam realised the werewolf had got its jaws stuck on the toffee.

“Tariq, give me a hand,” Adam said.

“Isn’t that dangerous?” Harry asked as Adam held the upper part of the werewolf’s muzzle while Tariq gently pulled the lower jaw down.

“They’ll be fine,” Ros replied. “He knows they’re trying to help him. The worst he will do is sulk because we’ve laughed at him.”

They finally removed the toffee apple, and Tariq deposited the soggy mess in a convenient bin.

“Right,” Harry said. “Now that the pantomime is over, can you gather round, and I will go over the plan again.”

They did as he asked, the werewolf joining them, where he drooled toffee onto Harry’s highly polished shoes.


	4. Star Trek: The Hokey Cokey

_You put your left leg in_  
'Oops! Mind the flying leg. That's taken one of them out already!'  
  
 _You put your left leg out_  
'And another one. No, make that two.'  
  
 _You do the hokey cokey_  
'Well, madam, I could have told you matching that knee with that thigh bone was doomed to failure.'  
  
 _And turn about_  
'Yes, even losing your tibia will mean you can't do much. Five down, five to go!'  
  
'Come on, Spock, keep singing!'

_You put your right leg in_  
'Oh, that was impressive, lose your own leg and fall over taking your neighbour's leg out at the same time.'  
  
 _Your right leg out_  
'Another one bites the dust. And there goes the one with two right legs, a complete malfunction.'  
  
 _Do the hokey cokey and turn around. That's what it's all about_  
'No mate, I don't think your spine was meant to do that either.'  
  
'Spock, run before Dr Frankenstein discovers how we've been entertaining our captors!'  
  
'Yes, Captain!'


	5. Spooks: Hallowe'en Party

“You’ve done a great job with the decorations,” Malcolm said. He turned around, admiring all the paper pumpkins and witches which were strung along the walls. There were orange and black chains hung across the ceiling and spiders in their webs hanging from the corners.

“Jo gave me a hand, or it wouldn’t have been done,” Adam said. “If it had been left to Lucas there’d have been nothing at all.”

“It still surprises me that Lucas avoids parties whenever he can, and yet his werewolf alter-ego loves them.”

“I know. It was fortunate full moon fell on Hallowe’en this year, so we could go to town on a party.”

“Indeed. Although I see you’ve just hung balloons in the hallway.”

“Yes, that way they’re out of reach of someone with sharp teeth who jumps up trying to burst them. Anyway, come through into the dining room, and join in the fun.”

As soon as they entered the dining room, Ros called out, “Hi, Malcolm, come and make yourself a pumpkin mask.”

Malcolm accepted the piece of orange card he was given and did his best to draw a fierce expression on it, although he suspected he wasn’t being very successful.

This was confirmed when Tariq said, “There’s a prize for the best mask, you’ll never win it with that.”

A few minutes later, Ros called out, “Right, everybody, put your masks on and we’ll vote for the best.”

Malcolm had to admit while some of the masks were better than others, there was always going to be one winner, which was liberally coated in glitter, as, it appeared, was the fur of the mask’s wearer. The prize, a gingerbread skeleton, was presented and gobbled up, apart from a few crumbs, which stuck to the glitter which was stuck to the werewolf’s fur.

“Our next game,” Ros announced, “is a variation on ‘piggy in the middle’. We throw cocktail sausages to each other and the werewolf in the middle has to try to catch them. The game will last until we run out of sausages.”

Malcolm wasn’t surprised the game didn’t last very long. 

After which, it was time for the buffet, and then Adam announced, “We don’t normally do this, but it is Hallowe’en, so I don’t think anyone will notice, so please join us in the garden.”

Adam opened the doors to the garden, and the werewolf trotted outside, threw back his head and howled at the moon.

After a few minutes, Adam said, “It’s getting cold, so back inside now.” The werewolf looked reluctant, but Adam added, “it’s time to cut the cake.”

Malcolm quickly stepped to one side to avoid the rush for the dining room.


End file.
